Open Letter to the Wife of a Conspiracy-Obsessed Husband

To the wife of a conspiracy-obsessed husband,

I know you. I’ve been there. I feel your pain. You try to go about your daily life, focusing on the positive, the future, while your husband plans out his doomsday bunker and watches an endless stream of YouTube videos on FEMA camps and Agenda 21 depopulation efforts.

You try to reason with him, tell him focusing on the negative and on fear is probably what the elite want. You want to talk about normal things, about your kids or your social life or what’s going on in your community.

You want a husband who cheers you up, not gives you more reasons to be afraid in this dying world. You wish your husband gave you hope for the future, not fear of it. You worry he’s too obsessed, that it is consuming him, eating him up. You worry he’s not providing for the family the way he ought to, but preparing for something that might never happen. Why spend all the time and energy on a doomsday bunker if it never comes? It seems he doesn’t have his priorities straight. That he should be focusing on the present.

I understand. I was there once. I was afraid for my husband, worried he wasn’t thinking clearly. I wished he would change.

But then…then I started listening to him. Slowly at first. I peeked into the rabbit hole, and I started to understand him. And I realized he was on to something. I realized why he was so concerned. I saw the dots connectedI’m not even sure why, I guess I was just tired of not understanding him. I guess deep down, what scared me as that what he was saying might be true. And there was suddenly no turning back. It slowly occurred to me he was actually leading our family, not ignoring it.

Do you know that your husband is the leader of your family, and probably takes his job more seriously than you give him credit for? It may seem like he’s absent, obsessed, ignoring your needs and that of your children. It may seem he’s not leading your family well, but chasing after whims and pointless theories.

But men aren’t like us. Men want to figure out how things work, and your husband has figured something out that most people don’t realize. That there are forces in this world that are seeking to destroy your way of life, to take away your children’s future, to turn you away from your Lord and Savior.

Your husband may truly be governed by fear, but this means he needs your prayers, not your nagging. He may not be trusting in the Lord, but that means that you need to. But I will tell you this:

Your husband is obsessed with these things because he wants to protect you and his family. 

And whether he is misguided in his efforts or not, you need to recognize he has his own way of loving you and providing for you and needs your support, no matter what. 

If he wants to buy canned foods and survival gear, it is because he wants his family to survive whatever disaster may befall you. If he is obsessed with exposing conspiracy it is because he wants to try to beat the powers that be, on some level, even if it only means being wise to their devices.

Or again, maybe he’s just obsessed, and its very dark and has a hold on him. If that is the case, you need to pray for him. You need to support him. You need to lift him up to the Lord and wage warfare with the spirit of fear that is not of God. Rather, He gives us power, love and sound mind. If you have that and your husband lacks it, use it. Don’t nag, don’t belittle what he’s doing, don’t treat him like a bad husband. Love suffers long and is kind. You may be the only person in your husband’s life who will stick with him through his dark hour. Be there for him. Be kind to him.

Whatever the case, I’m telling you this not because I am myself obsessed with conspiracy theories, but because once I started paying attention to what my husband was talking about my fear was washed away with the blood. I know it seems counter-intuitive and not everyone has to learn all about conspiracies to be washed in the blood or saved from fear. But it is the way it happened to me, and I know it’s a result of taking that plunge into my husband’s world and taking his concerns seriously. Facing my fear was the first step towards being free from it.

Is it possible you might be the one who is afraid? Perhaps do you not listen because the things he is discussing scare you? I know that was the case for me. I didn’t want to face the amount of power Satan had on this earth to influence world leaders.

But somehow, learning about the power he does have taught me more about Who truly holds the power and where to put my faith: in He who has victory over all those forces of darkness that rely on fear and evil to further their cause. Our battle as Christians is not with flesh and blood. It’s not with ISIS, its not with terrorists disguised as refugees, it’s not even with international bankers or UN depopulation efforts. It’s with the spiritual powers that influence these things and we have power in prayer and in the blood of the lamb to overcome the spirit of fear in our lives.

So before you try to change your husband, look to yourself to see if you need changing first. Even if that just means changing the way you react to his interests and obsessions. Even if that means just praying for him and listening with clenched teeth to something that doesn’t interest you or makes you afraid.

He honestly might be dying for the day when you are interested in the things he’s very proud of himself for figuring out. He might have been trying to impress you this whole time. Men’s egos are more sensitive than they usually let on. Let him know you appreciate his ability to do his own research and think for himself. I have learned this is a wonderful characteristic in a spiritual leader.

But most of all, trust in the Lord as your eternal husband, and trust in Him to guide your earthly husband towards a godly way of leadership. You might be surprised at the results.

And in fact, you might end up with more in common with your husband than you imagined possible.

Would that really be such a bad thing?

Note: one of the reasons I started this blog was to help women better understand the conspiracy/truther/fringe Christian realm, especially if their husbands are the ones trying to teach them. To speak to the issues that concern women when our paradigms start to shift, as a woman. If you are struggling in this area or need prayer in any way, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me, either by contacting me here or via social media. God bless! 

 

 

34 Comments:

  1. Pingback: An Open Letter to the Wife of a Conspiracy-Obsessed Husband | Women on the Fringe

  2. Pingback: An Open Letter to the Wife of a Conspiracy-Obsessed Husband | Women on the Fringe

  3. When my husband brings stuff like the end times up, I tell him I don’t like to hear about it since it is scary stuff but you have convicted me about this. I know without a fact that greater is He who is in us than he who is in the world, but it’s still hard to think of the wickedness of our world and how it is culminating in destruction. However, we as believers always have a hope since we know, love, and trust in our Savior. Next time my husband begins to speak about it, I will listen with open ears. In fact, wives should listen to everything their husbands speak about since this shows them respect. Great post!

    • Amen, thank you so much for letting me know! Yes it can be a hard pill to swallow but our husbands really do just want our respect. And you’re so right-we know who is ultimately in control, that’s the important part! I will pray you and your husband can grow in the Lord, in faith and knowledge. God bless you sister and thanks again for the comment, it made my day 🙂

  4. When my husband brings stuff like the end times up, I tell him I don’t like to hear about it since it is scary stuff but you have convicted me about this. I know without a fact that greater is He who is in us than he who is in the world, but it’s still hard to think of the wickedness of our world and how it is culminating in destruction. However, we as believers always have a hope since we know, love, and trust in our Savior. Next time my husband begins to speak about it, I will listen with open ears. In fact, wives should listen to everything their husbands speak about since this shows them respect. Great post!

    • Amen, thank you so much for letting me know! Yes it can be a hard pill to swallow but our husbands really do just want our respect. And you’re so right-we know who is ultimately in control, that’s the important part! I will pray you and your husband can grow in the Lord, in faith and knowledge. God bless you sister and thanks again for the comment, it made my day 🙂

  5. This was great!! I love the way you write. I’ve only had time for a cursory read, but will read again tomorrow!

  6. This was great!! I love the way you write. I’ve only had time for a cursory read, but will read again tomorrow!

  7. I love that my husband resembles the Founding Fathers. I have tried to put myself in some of those Founder’s wives’ shoes and think how they must have felt. I’m certain there were probably quite a few of those women who rolled their eyes at their husbands when they started lecturing. There were probably some who were very scared of losing everything too. It is very brave of our husbands to be vocal and unashamed to care for their families in this way. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. It really needed to be said.

    • Amen! That is a good comparison, I never thought about what it must have been like for those women, or perhaps even the wives of the early church fathers-facing death for the sake of defending truth and ultimate freedom. Your husband is blessed with a wife like you 🙂

  8. I love that my husband resembles the Founding Fathers. I have tried to put myself in some of those Founder’s wives’ shoes and think how they must have felt. I’m certain there were probably quite a few of those women who rolled their eyes at their husbands when they started lecturing. There were probably some who were very scared of losing everything too. It is very brave of our husbands to be vocal and unashamed to care for their families in this way. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. It really needed to be said.

    • Amen! That is a good comparison, I never thought about what it must have been like for those women, or perhaps even the wives of the early church fathers-facing death for the sake of defending truth and ultimate freedom. Your husband is blessed with a wife like you 🙂

  9. I guess I’m the man in the family! 🙂 But praise God my husband is coming around.

  10. I guess I’m the man in the family! 🙂 But praise God my husband is coming around.

  11. I guess I’m the man in the family for now! Praise God my husband is beginning to have open eyes. 🙂

  12. I guess I’m the man in the family for now! Praise God my husband is beginning to have open eyes. 🙂

  13. @BC: that is great – “Founding Fathers”

    If we go back even further on the timeline to Abraham and Sarah, he was told to leave all his family …. which was protection and totally NOT what everyone else was doing. In a way this couple was our first founding father (and mother).

    I think they both had grit!

  14. @BC: that is great – “Founding Fathers”

    If we go back even further on the timeline to Abraham and Sarah, he was told to leave all his family …. which was protection and totally NOT what everyone else was doing. In a way this couple was our first founding father (and mother).

    I think they both had grit!

  15. Pingback: Why ‘End Times Mama’? | End Times Mama

  16. Pingback: Why ‘End Times Mama’? | End Times Mama

  17. Pingback: What Radical Christian Woman is Reading This Week (12/6/15 - 12/12/15) - Radical Christian Woman

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  19. I want to thank you. This article was helpful. I have a unique situation. I have researched some things on my own or just knew already about the things he would share. That being said, I deal with repetitive anger and disappointment. He Puts more energy in listening to Christian radio shows dealing with this subject, than researching ways to understand how to connect with our grown children. Between, sports and this our marriage has little time for us. I guess what my pet peeve is the word said your family is your fine ministry, but I don’t see it enough.

    • I don’t think your situation is unique, actually. I can definitely relate. That’s a large part of the reason I wrote this. Our husbands feel a sense of control in researching these topics but of course they are also not perfect and often don’t lead in the way we would like. It’s been a big revelation to me this year that I don’t have to think my husband is perfect and does everything right to be able to respect him. It’s like in the military, you respect the rank, not necessarily the person. And because God is our ultimate authority, we have to submit to his order of power as best we can, which will ultimately support the entire operation. I will keep you and your husband in prayer, he is blessed to have a mindful and praying wife and you can do amazing things with that, even if it just means increasing your own faith.

  20. I want to thank you. This article was helpful. I have a unique situation. I have researched some things on my own or just knew already about the things he would share. That being said, I deal with repetitive anger and disappointment. He Puts more energy in listening to Christian radio shows dealing with this subject, than researching ways to understand how to connect with our grown children. Between, sports and this our marriage has little time for us. I guess what my pet peeve is the word said your family is your fine ministry, but I don’t see it enough.

    • I don’t think your situation is unique, actually. I can definitely relate. That’s a large part of the reason I wrote this. Our husbands feel a sense of control in researching these topics but of course they are also not perfect and often don’t lead in the way we would like. It’s been a big revelation to me this year that I don’t have to think my husband is perfect and does everything right to be able to respect him. It’s like in the military, you respect the rank, not necessarily the person. And because God is our ultimate authority, we have to submit to his order of power as best we can, which will ultimately support the entire operation. I will keep you and your husband in prayer, he is blessed to have a mindful and praying wife and you can do amazing things with that, even if it just means increasing your own faith.

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